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Jokes Suck

July 5, 2010

I hate jokes. I think I’ve ranted on this before, but when I think about it it again ragefies me. Dunno why, I just can’t stand the long meandering jokes that some people like. Well, let me amend this: I don’t hate reading jokes. I hate listening to jokes. It gets kind of dull. It’s like hearing someone recount the highlights of their day, “And then kitty went oooky poooky right in his litter box and then I farted out the national anthem and surprisingly it sounded like Roseanne Barr’s rendition…” you get the picture. It’s BORING.

When I was in high school there was this guy, Steve, and he used to recount these jokes that were so long I honestly felt like homicide would’ve been the best option. Seriously. Death is the only answer to that kind of painful storytelling. It’s one thing if you’re great at it, but it was just a monotonous thing that made no sense, you couldn’t really follow it, and eventually you wanted to make it end.

So, leave the long-assed jokes to comedians or to literature and save us all the horror of having to listen to you yap your trap for a good 10 minutes with the punchline being something lost at the end. Heh…punchline…I’ll give them a punchline if they tell me another goddamn joke that makes no sense and I never wanted to hear, ever.

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