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News You Can’t Use

July 11, 2010

We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!

Sticking with my media schtick today I think today’s media isn’t given enough credit for the profound mess they make. Sure, you can say they’re ‘liberal’ or ‘conservative’, but we all know that’s a lie. No, today’s media pays attention to ratings and how much money they can make off of you. And if what they’re reporting does not give them some value then it simply will disappear. ‘Poof’ it never existed. No one ever said it. It didn’t happen. etc.

The beauty of the internet is that things cannot just disappear anymore. Nope, people will read it, copy it, disseminate elsewhere, and it’ll never completely disappear. That’s why I like the internet archive as it gives you a look into the past. Even if it’s not entirely active. I also find this current obsession with celebrity to be very disturbing. The recent bit of ‘news’ that really bugged me was Tiger Woods announcing to the world that he was sorry. No, they preempted three networks for that. Was that necessary? Did it add anything to our society? No, he gets paid lots of money and we want to know his business. That’s all that amounted to. One big celebrity jerk-off.

I refuse to accept that this is the best we can produce from our society. Just report the fucking news and none of this soap opera stuff. Even the oil spill’s taken on a weekly soap opera feeling. “Will they or won’t they close off the tap?” “A senator apologized to BP and America was furious.” “Who’s responsible?” “Will BP go into bankruptcy because of this?” I’ll admit: This is a really bad news story. It’s an environmental and economic travesty of epic proportions. But this coverage needs to take on a more fact based tone and less gossipy. I don’t care if  Tony Hayward gets fired or if that Senator or Representative sucks his cock off while in committee. I don’t care. As Joe Friday said, “Just the facts, ma’am.”

That’s all I really care for and the recent H1N1 outbreak was terrible. Truly terrible. I was expecting a score card for people dead, “Well…Mexico had 25,000 dead and the US only had 1,500. I guess we lose, ‘eh?” It’s really sad. And me being a hypochondriac made it even worse as they kept using buzz words to describe everything. You know…the dreaded….second wave. OMG! RUUUUUN! Seriously, they mentioned that shit and it always seemed like they wanted it to sound as ominous as possible. Better run…the second wave is coming for your ass! I’m not saying the swine flu wasn’t bad–it was, but they didn’t help by panicking people and giving useless info like how many people died. I wanted to know how to keep from catching it. What precautions should I take. No, they did that…in the middle of their fear parade.

I could go on and on about this, but the point is that our ‘news’ is anything but these days. It’s a mash-up of semi-related stories to your life mixed with gossip mixed with stuff they think they can sell you. I wonder when a premium was placed on viewers and readers so much that they need to attract you by pulling your dick or vagoo. I know I sound like a crotchety old man here, but our television and newspapers are full of shit these days. No wonder people turn to the internet for news these days if that’s the quality of reporting they give us.

Also the fixation on bad news irks me as well. Is there no good news anymore? Do people just not do anything because they’re nice anymore? I never hear about them too often. Well, unless it’s a slow day. You know, if there’s no plague or oil spill or no celebrity dying or dead. Outside of that you’re fucked if you want to hear anything positive. And we fight over how biased our news is as well. Wake up: that is a distraction to keep you separated from your ‘enemy’, because likely if you ever did bond with your so-called ‘enemy’ you might find they’re not bad people.

Anyway, this stuff depresses the fuck out of me and I generally am hateful toward the news even though I try not to be, but they celebrate bullshit and the people who watch the bullshit hold it up as if it’s some grand thing worthy of praise; it’s not and it never was. Today’s news is a joke and the people who report on it should be ashamed to call themselves journalists. They’re not. They’re high-class Weekly World News reporters. The only difference is that their reports contain crumbs of reality.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 11, 2010 8:57 pm

    I am glad someone else feels the same way I do about the BS “news”. It makes me happy to see that there are others out there who aren’t sheep. Thanks for posting this.

    • July 11, 2010 9:00 pm

      Of course I do. And you’re welcome, but I’m sure this rant isn’t all that new. 😉 I’m just sick of the current crop of ‘news’.

  2. July 11, 2010 11:09 pm

    It’s to the point where I don’t watch news anymore. I want long, detailed, boring news with facts, not one-offs of popular pictures and rampant speculation.

    • July 12, 2010 4:20 pm

      Yeah, I feel the same way as well. It’s why I’ve mostly stopped watching the ‘news’.

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