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That’s an egg–You’re An Alcoholic And Thanks To Drugs I See Through You

August 12, 2010

I remember a lot from my childhood, but I don’t remember what I was like as a person. Was I happy? Sad? Did I have a lot of anger? I don’t remember that stuff. I mean…I do remember that I was always nice to people and that girls always flocked to me in a way I never understood. No, not to be with me or because they were interested. Just that I was always easy to talk to. I remember that bit and this trait carried all the way to middle school and high school as well. Always easy to talk to; never the dating type.

Anyway, I don’t remember much about my personality as a child except I was nice and curious. Oh and ‘funny’. I think I was funny, people always seemed to find my humor amusing. I’ve been wondering about this as I’m wondering where my bullshit detector developed. See, I never followed the crowd and I really never had a crowd that followed me or anything. I’m sure there’s a lot of people like that; I just never quite fit in anywhere and after the 5th grade (which was the turning point for me) I just stopped caring if I were a part of a crowd or clique.

It all seemed like superficial stuff anyway so I never bothered. Consequently I am awkward in social situations and it always feels odd when I am in a group of friends. I always feel like I shouldn’t be there–or I used to. I mean, I have gotten better as I’ve gotten older. Social situations are still kind of awkward for me, but I do have a longing to be around people or doing something, even if I don’t. So there is that. My problem has always been finding my ‘place’ and I still haven’t quite figured it out, but I do notice I am getting better at things than I used to be. Getting older is fun, shame you have to get older to really appreciate the changes to your psyche.

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