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August 17, 2010

I just saw this video (pops) by Theramin Trees. His basic point is that we need to pinpoint behaviors that we think are just our mind conforming with the majority and that with that we’ll be better people. I tend to agree with that assessment. I’ve noticed that even I have that tendency to become more unsure the majority is saying otherwise. It’s actually caused me to doubt myself and I do have a recent example of this: ‘could’ve’ vs ‘could of’. Now, I’m very well versed in spelling and whatnot, but I constantly see dumbshits saying, ‘could of’ instead of ‘could’ve’ and I actually began to question myself.

Sure, you’re not supposed to judge yourself by internet grammar/spelling, but then I saw it in some Terry Pratchett novels and I really began to question my intelligence and abilities. Even when I spell it on Firefox it doesn’t recognize ‘could’ve’ as a legitimate contraction. So yeah…feeling like you’re in a minority sucks and people will lose themselves if that is what they want. And they even lose themselves when they try not to conform. They’re just conforming to someone else’s non-conformity. And fuck people who think ‘could of’ is proper.

For me, these days I’m just happy being me. No fancy colored hair, no pressure to please others, just doing whatever I fancy. And I’ve become quite successful at it. For the most part. When my friend Alexis said, “You’re just…you,’ in the 10th grade I should’ve taken it as a compliment instead of an insult. No, instead I didn’t want to me. And I spent so much time not being me at one point that now when I say or do or have an interest in something that my friends find odd they make mention of it. Oh well.

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