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What Is Love

June 29, 2011

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Or I thought I was, but I’m wondering how much of that was desperation/horniness and how much was genuinely love. I guess on some level I’ve felt it before. But I’m wondering why I haven’t felt that way lately or even in the last few years. Especially when someone fancied me and all I could say is, “I really like you, but that whole clinging to you was an act of desperation on my part.” Yeah…doesn’t sound very dignified in that way.

I do think I’ve had little inklings of love, though. Especially in high school with this one girl I was crazy for for years, but it was never reciprocated or even acknowledged. Hell, it’s still not acknowledged and I’m a nominal friend these days. So it’s odd for me to go my whole life without experiencing that feeling. The feeling that consumes you that you’d do anything for that person and they’d do the same for you. I dunno. It also bugs the shit out of me because of that fact.

I think I’m on my way, though. I think. Or maybe I’m not. Still, it’ll turn out for the best.

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