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Blank Blank Blankity Blank

February 27, 2013

No, I wasn’t censoring myself. I just have nothing to write about today so I tried to look up some journal questions and admittedly I got that idea from Crista Ramone. And since I never cheated in school (heh..liar) I’ll use a different question to inspire me, because that’s how cool I am, kids. Do the kids still say ‘cool’? If not then here’s to whatever you wish to call it. Without further ado:

Write about something that flopped.

In my 30 years of living I’ve had quite a few things that have flopped but nothing quite as terribly as my first ever piece of fiction: Stupid Boy.  For my creative writing class we were supposed to write a non-fiction piece. Having enough stories that are messed up I decided to write about my first kiss in kindergarten. First mistake: I started the story off with an ‘it’ sentence and while later on in a story you can get away with it, I was unaware that that does not make for compelling storytelling. Second mistake: My subject was very stretched and thin. Last mistake: I wrote it poorly from the first person. Oh, that did not make my professor Brooke Bognanni very happy.

It looked like a tide of red ink and by the time it was over I felt completely crushed. Crushed into dust and blown away into the wind. I still cringe when I think about it, but I think that was probably the best thing that could happen to me. That whole thing lit a fire under my ass and when she admonished the entire class and said, “You all need to decide whether you really want to take this class,” I took that very personally. Yes, I want to take this class! I signed up for the damn thing! I thought. After that I stayed at my computer for hours upon hours until I came up with Kiss Of The Loser. That story sprang from my frustrations and it originally was going to be a lot more sillier than it ended up becoming. I sat at that keyboard and punched out that story and I got so much into it that 6 hours went by relatively quick. I was amazed. I accepted her challenge and fought back.

A few days later I handed in the story certain that it would fail again as my track record was horrible, but to my amazement it succeeded beyond all expectations. She loved it. She loved it so much she wrote all over it in blue ink and congratulated me! From there I had found my voice and my style. I was good at writing about heartache and loss and discovering love and wanting it to succeed so badly that the only way it was possible was to write about it, because I sure as hell haven’t found a way to make things work out in my real life. I stuck with the class and was thought of so highly that she invited me to the next class which was an honors class. So from that failure I reached a height that I quite haven’t achieved since and kind of gave up writing about anything.

I should fix that, but everything I type out I tend to cringe at like, “Really? That’s horrible,” but that’s the risk with anything. You always find things you can hate about it so maybe stop focusing so much on whether I hate it or whether I think it’s good or ‘worthy’ of me and just fecking write. That was my flop, of which I’ve had many and have come back stronger…well…until now.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. cristaramone permalink
    February 27, 2013 5:04 pm

    I believe failures are what turn us into the people we are supposed to be, in your case, a successful storyteller. I can relate to this not only as a writer but also walking through everyday life. Thanks for sharing!

  2. February 27, 2013 8:26 pm

    You’re quite welcome. The real tragedy here is that since 2004 I haven’t really done anything with that talent. I’ve been kind of on the sidelines hoping that someday the novel will pop into my head through some miraculous muse. Unfortunately that hasn’t been the case. So maybe…time for me to stop staying on the sidelines from now on.

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