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Musically Challenged Mind

April 2, 2013

No, this post isn’t about my inability to enjoy music–more that it’s about listening to a song that at the time made sense and it was very enjoyable, but now moving onto a different phase in life it’s no longer enjoyable. I find this feeling is most apt when listening to Face to Face. While I still enjoy their music I just…can’t relate to it anymore. And for me that’s a big thing because if it’s relatable I’ll listen to it quite a bit, but I find myself unable to relate to their lyrics anymore. It’s the same way for the Eels for me, I can actually relate to their lyrics more now than when I was younger.

I’ve known the pain of loss and I know how hard it can sock me in the gut and leave me this cold outer shell with an inside that’s in turmoil, but dwelling on that feeling never helps so it’s time to move on with your life into that uncertain future as the song, “P.S. You Rock My World,” implies. I find that really relatable now which I probably wouldn’t have when I was younger. And I still like Elliott Smith’s music on those days where, “Everything Means Nothing To Me,” still very much applies or, “Can’t Make A Sound,” which very much applies to my every day life in how I can’t really be totally honest with anyone–I just don’t feel comfortable with total honesty, but I can deal honestly with people. It’s just in my head there’s a red light constantly saying, “NO!” Am I getting this out right?

My interpretations of the lyrics may vastly differ from the lyrical content, but the basis for it is an emotional connection which is very important and with some songs from my youth (as if I’m so old, ha!) I just can’t tolerate or I can tolerate but am indifferent toward. I liken it to rediscovering parts about yourself and finding that those parts are absent or no longer there in the same shape they used to be. I used to feel like no one understood me and that the world was such shit and yeah, fuck it! But now I just feel ignored and isolated by really everyone. And it’s not their fault either so much as it’s mine. That’s what forms the basis of the connection or the pathos and that’s why I try to let songs go that I’ve forgotten or no longer find apply, because chances are I’m just not going to enjoy them as much anymore.

Now there’s transcendent bands for me like Stabbing Westward but even their morose sadness of Darkest Days just seems laughable and overly melodramatic for me. The only song I can relate to from that album now is The Thing I Hate and Goodbye. Now, if we’re talking the Wither, Blister, Burn, and Peel album I can really relate to the musical content there still because a lot of it applies. The constant questioning, the never feeling good enough with a person, the shame and regret, very much topics I go into these days. Then there’s bands like Faunts that are really about the music and less about the lyrics, but they still have some really good lyrics that anyone can relate to like Instantly Loved.

So, are there any bands that made more sense when you were younger that don’t quite make sense or have that same feeling that they once did? Or am I just a crazy person rambling about shit, “I have no idea about, man!”?

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