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The Breeze

April 5, 2013

On cool-ish, semi-warm days like this I just like to luxuriate in the feel of the breeze gently caressing my skin and sending comforting chills through my body. It’s the kind of enjoyment that can only be had if you really look for it, but on these kind of days it’s reassuring to know that some things never change. You see, I’ve felt this way about this kind of chill since childhood. I’m not sure if it’s the same feeling is the same that I had as a child–maybe the breeze reminds me of my childhood of when I’d take in the weather and just enjoy its soft touch. For whatever reason I take in its beauty and its comfort and feel at peace. It’s weird feeling this way over weather that most would find intolerable best.

I’ve always felt this way about certain weather patterns, though, like those mornings during the summer where the grass is wet and the world–for one moment of the day–is completely silent. No lawnmowers, no birds chirping, no children screeching in joy, and no cars rumbling. And then the world shifts back into focus and everything speeds back up and we’re back in the present. Or the sound of unseen cars whooshing by and I know that each noise is a life with a destination and focus in mind. Maybe it’s taking the children to school or going to work or to see a significant other; whatever the reason it feels very peaceful knowing that fact that as life is standing still for a small fraction of the day for me that it’s still going on elsewhere and wondering about each person in their car and their lives and what’s going on.

I honestly don’t know where this feeling comes from for me, but I do enjoy taking in the splendor that is life during these quiet moments and the shame is that no one is there to share them, but then I realize it makes these feelings all the more meaningful–no one to share with, but it’s my own personal moment in time where only I matter and no one else does. Whether they feel the same way or can see the rhythm in life and feel its pulse. Or is it just an abstraction for them. I don’t need to worry for that’s my moment and feeling. Some sensations bring back stronger memories for me.

The hot summer days where the ground and atmosphere begin to cool, but everyone is bustling on with their life unaware or just not caring about this sudden change. For me it reminds me of walking home from middle school late in the year and traversing the streets and the pathway home and how the busy road was a danger, but one easily overcome if one paid attention; getting home and feeling the breeze coming in and cooling things down with time for myself. I miss those days and I feel nostalgic for them, but I don’t think going back to them would make the same feeling or same mixture of emotions. It’s a firework for me: bursting outward and burning bright for a small moment before the world changes back to normal.

Granted you could say that about most things in my life like this blagh I keep and my friends I’ve been close with that inexplicably burn out and eventually we stop talking as much. The moments that last, though, are the ones that keep burning and churning and continuing–those are the ones worth keeping and remembering. They’re the moments that matter and they’re also the ones that make the little moments like the ones I’ve described all the more special, if fleeting. So enjoy the memorable and only kind of memorable moments as they’re really worth holding onto and nurturing to ensure that there is some joy in your life. Even if that joy is only a temporary thing.

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