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There’s Safety In Numbers

April 22, 2013

If I could describe myself accurately it’s in this manner: I don’t make decisions on my own. Usually I ask my friends for their opinion and then proceed from there. I don’t know why I do this, but I guess it could be because I’ve never felt safe in my own judgment. Sure, the little things I’m great with–the big decisions I have to run by a committee. As the title suggests: There’s safety in numbers for me. Basically I feel if there’s a consensus then I should probably do it. So really I’m just taking the blame for all bad decisions off my shoulders…wow…that was a revelation I didn’t expect. Yeah, that was live. Or as live as a blagh can get.

Problem solved! We can all go home now. Ahem…anyway, I don’t know where this trend started and that revelation I just posted is definitely part of it if I really honestly examine it. But as I’m talking to my friend now and I told her I think I’m a little too restrained. If you buy Freud’s model of the psyche then there’s an Id, Ego, and Superego. Superego is the side that says, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this,” that’s where I am permanently stuck at. Or not permanently–it just feels that way.

Permanently would imply I’m writing this from the grave and I’ll have you know that I certainly am not. Although that would be funny if someone died and their friend kept updating their blagh to keep up the pretense that their dead friend is still functioning. You know, Weekend At Bernie’s for text. But I feel if you’re going to go that when they go all in: just take over their life. At least then when the cops surround your house one night with helicopters swirling you have the mentally deranged excuse. But I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes, my committee. I realize it’s a bad habit to keep and I realize I’m only as smart as my smartest friend in those conditions, but I also realize my tamped down side will appreciate the input. Mostly because it keeps from having blind spots. That’s not a justification, but it is one of the perks. Granted if you end up in a situation where your friend secretly hates you you can most certainly be led astray (I never said there weren’t risks).

It’s funny, because the best compliment I’ve ever gotten was from my professor on this mock interview. He said (and I’m paraphrasing-ish) that I’ve grown enough as a designer that I can make my own decisions and know what works. Unfortunately I get no praise for how I deal with my life like that, otherwise I probably would stop it with asking for the advice from my friends.

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