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Those Moments That Make You Feel Stupid

June 20, 2013

I’m going to be a little mean here and it’s only because I care…okay, fuck that shit, I care because I was honestly beginning to question everything I’d learned about English.


Could’ve: the contraction of ‘could’ and ‘have’ chiefly used by humans as short-hand instead of a longer sentence.

Could of: Your imbecilic attempt at understanding the word around you by phonetically typing something out. 


I’m sorry if this comes out as overly harsh, but within the last 6 years I’ve seen this error crop up a lot online and so much so I began to question whether I was wrong or not. I’ve even seen mainstream sources using it and I finally reached my breaking point when Firefox’s spellchecker even listed it as a spelling error. So naturally I was a bit curious: was I wrong or were they? Well…mystery solved, Scoob! I was right. And now that I have a soapbox to scream, “I was RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” I shall. But not for too long because I see the other theme online, “It’s just the internet!” People will proclaim with a sense of smugness.

It is the internet and the internet’s chock full of so much non-seriousness that I’m surprised anything still functions and there are no rules or grammatical checks to make sure you can get online, but that’s no excuse for ignorance. This naturally creates an atmosphere where any dumb-ass with a computer can voice their opinions–poor spelling and grammar and all. However, I think this would be a mistake to assume that just because we exist in a virtual space full of things that aren’t as serious that such mistakes are okay.

Mostly because it allows ignorance to continue and to make people proud of their ignorance of such matters. Yeah, these are really trivial things to get worked up about–I realize and accept that, but in my view these things are like ripples on a pond and eventually these ripples start creating waves of ignorance. And you don’t want waves of ignorance as that’s where the TEA Party sprung up with society’s ignorance rippling out to old white people (pbt).

So yeah, I think trivialities like grammar and spelling are a big deal, not the least of which because it shows an inability to correct yourself in assuming things are this way and that’s the ‘proper’ way and what do I know, I’m an elitist for shunning illiterate people. Yeah, because illiteracy has won us so many things in life. That’s another thing: these things allow the less…intelligent among us to become smug about their lack of intelligence. It’s like that child who’s never told they’re wrong and when they grow up they’re proud of their wrongness and wear it like some sort of badge of honor.

That’s when you roll up the newspaper and smack ’em on the nose and say, “No! That’s bad!” Like a badly behaved puppy. And of course I don’t get on everyone who misspells or doesn’t use the proper grammar. There’s wanting things a certain way and then there’s being a dick about it. I’m not going to chastise people for offending my sensibilities. I will, however, cringe silently and try to correct them by using the proper form and hope against hope that it rubs off.

By the way, I found an excellent resource for all of the common mistakes in the English language that people make every day. Yeah, I actually researched this entry. Go me. Which brings me to my most cogent point in this rant: It’s not like if you’re making the mistake that you can’t research it and find out. That’s probably what annoys me the most about grammar and spelling errors: You’re on the internet! A vast array of information all at your fingertips. Look this shit up and better yourself and your online experience. Make the most of what you have available.

I don’t think life is about wallowing in your own feces for the rest of your life and people need to start educating themselves even beyond school. Life isn’t static and neither should you be static either. To not change, to not better yourself, to not seek out knowledge is slavery. It’s the kind of slavery that allows people with more money than you to abuse you, to kick you, and to tell you to like it. I know this is going to sound overly preachy, but I don’t care. Where rich people have money and the ‘best in life’, people without large incomes and property have something more valuable: knowledge. And that’s what being online provides. It provides you with the knowledge to better yourself, your life, the people around you, and the world.

So when I see people who will gladly trade their knowledge for convenience and then be ‘happy’ about it…well…I just have to shake my head, because it means that’s one less person who’s informed and who will allow things to just carry them in whatever direction someone else desires. Anyway…like my opinion? Hate it? Let me know. Provided I’m not tl;dr enough for you.


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