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Online ‘Dating’

October 25, 2013

At a point in my life I was pretty keen on online dating I thought, ‘Finally! A place where I can meet women and not be awkward.’ Those dreams have been dashed. I’m just as awkward on these damn sites as I am in person only now it’s less, ‘W-w-would you wanna go out?’ And more, ‘Pick me! Pick me!’ And I was always picked last for any team so I know in just what order I’m going to be ‘picked’. Needless to say this hasn’t helped my confidence in the opposite sex or even with online dating. But I can say I now know why I hate the whole concept: it’s a job interview plain and simple. Actually, less than an interview. It’s more like sending in job applications and getting no reply.

I could be wrong…I’ve never dated anyone and only failed at winning the heart of someone I have feelings for, but I don’t think romance should feel like a business transaction. True, the modern form of dating is a sales’ date in that you have to believe in you and sell yourself to the person. At its base level that’s what dating is. If it were otherwise it’d cease to be dating and be…well…not what we have. Ideally we’d give everyone who approaches us a chance because hey, you never know who might knock your socks off. In real life we’re just poor decision makers and go by first impressions because we have short lifespans (by say…a redwood’s standards, so since time is short we say, ‘Fuck all that! I want something shiny and/or like me!’

So people go for that. Or they go for some other reason entirely, maybe he or she had a really shiny tooth–I don’t know! The point is our lives are far from ideal because we face death every day and must find someone who’s the ‘best’ so we go to online dating sites because awkwardness breeds these sites like feckin’ rabbits. And you’re there. Your profile is all set up to go jamming and unless you’re really handsome or pretty you can expect maybe one or two messages if you don’t fuck up your profile entirely–yes, you can say the wrong thing. Well, ‘He seems like a summer and I’m like sooo totally an autumn.’

Again: your profile’s your resume and people can easily dismiss you for one wrong blurb or you weren’t groveling enough when messaging them or you’re on the creepy end of the creepy/cute divide. What has always and shall bother me for the rest of my life is snap judgments. It seems very unfair to categorize people by first impressions or by how much you really super-duper like their profile. I’m definitely not like how I portray myself online or hell, even in person. I come across as a brick of ice because I fear my awkwardness. I don’t open up as easily as some people. Never have and I never will.

Aaaand…that’s pretty much it. I hate online dating. I hate in person dating and I can never be this honest with anyone and I hate that as well.

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