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Brand New Day

November 3, 2013

This weekend…has been enlightening. I thought I was weaker and that at any moment I was going to freak the hell out, but nope, I acknowledged the fear and anxiety and soldiered on. I’ve been quite impressed with how well I’ve been doing at controlling the anxiety despite myself. I liken the anxiety to sort of like background radiation: you know it’s there, it’s effecting my body in small ways, but in ways that don’t matter at that moment.

That’s been my anxiety lately, yes, it’s a bit more potent than the background radiation, but it doesn’t have much power over my decisions–and for that I’m grateful. So..pat on the back? Probably not. It’s probably always going to manifest in some form and I’ll have to confront it . That is for later, though.

Now I can at least make it over to my brother’s without the ensuing panic and I’m extending my drives even further now without much anxiety about doing that. If I were religious I’d say this is the part where I say, ‘I’m so blessed. The Lord have given me all I need,’ but I’m not. I’m an Atheist with no confidence and no lord’s done this work for me. I’ve fought tooth and nail to get out of this funk and I’m finally succeeding. That also feels really good.

The best advice I can give to anyone facing down anxiety is: never give up. Sure, that sounds clichéd as hell, but it’s true. Sometimes you just have to face it down and just…do things that make you anxious. Remember: you can succeed without letting it affect you in ways that change what you want to do. Aaaand then he has a panic attack tomorrow. Okay. Not really, but I always feel really stupid giving advice because I feel the thing that I’m trying to encourage other people to do will happen to me. Or at least that’s how my brain sees it.

Screw you, brain.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. olgatodd permalink
    November 3, 2013 10:31 pm

    Thank you for sharing!

    Please join our Facebook Community of Daily Inspiration.
    We would love to see you there!

  2. November 4, 2013 1:41 am

    My 14-year-old daughter has OCD. Right now she has therapy homework, where she has to do something that starts off making her feel at a level 10 anxiety, and keep it up until it’s down to at most a 3. And it works. It’s amazing. But the hard part is getting her to start, because when her anxiety is sky high, she can’t imagine that it will pass. How do you deal with that?

    • November 4, 2013 7:27 am

      This might be a long-ish reply and it might or might not be helpful, if it isn’t, I apologize in advance.

      When I used to have those moments where I was off the charts and panicking I used to use lorazepam (Ativan) to calm down. Eventually I did calm down and things were okay, but the only downside is that it’s a drug and it does make a person very sleepy (so does a panic attack or anxiety, go fig). Also, I’m not sure how you feel about drugging your child.

      After a few therapy sessions I gave up on the lorazepam–mostly. It reqlly did become a thing of last resort as I learned different techniques for battling the anxiety and panic. One of them was to give up on obsessive habits. You said she has OCD, so that may or may not be impossible to do. I think anxiety tends to create a faux-OCD as it’s not ‘true’ obsessive compulsive disorder, but the anxiety makes thoughts that ‘stick’. So if it is ‘true’ OCD, then you may need medicine to deal with that.

      The other technique that I’ve been using lately when I’ve had a little bit of anxiety/panic to come down from I’ve re-directed my thoughts. Basically if your thought is, ‘I’m dying!’ Then you find something that can distract you. For me I usually call my mother or talk to my father they’ve gotten better at dealing with my more crazier moments which have been very rare lately.

      Talking tends to help to re-focus things and eventually the feelings subside. It also helps to tell the person to breathe with these things (obviously). That might or might not be easier said than done, but if you make it an order then it can help. With a lot of anxiety-related disorders you do tend to forget to breathe which makes the numb limbs, light-headedness, and tight throat worse.

      I hope these tips help and I hope your daughter is okay. The really important thing is show her that you care, because anxiety is a really isolating experience and it helps to know that there’s at least one person that understands and will help out in any way possible. When things first started getting really bad, my family wasn’t very understanding, but as time went on they became more aware and compassionate. So yeah, having that lifeline is really important. If your daughter has that then I think she’ll be okay and can get through the anxiety. Just remind her it’s a temporary thing.

  3. Marleen permalink
    November 4, 2013 3:57 am

    Proud of you, man. That is all.

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