Today’s not been the best day for me. I gad trouble going to sleep after getting off of the phone around 2am and then I couldn’t get to sleep until around 4. I woke up at 7 and had a mini-panic attack where I got myself out of it. Then I went back to sleep till about 8:30 and woke up and took a walk aaaand that’s all I’ve done today. That and watched a lot of videos and chatted on the phone a bit. I can’t go to sleep now because I’ll wake up at 4. But oh how do I wanna. I just want to close my eyes and pass out.
With regards to my previous entry…I’m gonna wait. I believe we have potential and our thing, while fucked up, we both do keep coming back to each other. No matter how many times we think we’re done, we’re not. We both care a lot about each other as well. She was the one that urged me to go back to therapy and to work on myself—which I am. And I’m finally getting some traction in that area.
My friends will find this stupid and maybe it is to an extent, but it’s my stupidity and one I’m not blindly going into. Right now, though, I’m fixing my anxiety and other than the tiny bit of panic today, I’ve been doing well. I’m tired and very open to all sorts of negative thoughts. Hell, the impetus to write this has been one big negative thought, but I’m trying.
Tomorrow will be my post about my cynicism, what it’s done to me, and how I want to change it.
FIDo Almighty 