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I Had A Thought

September 30, 2014

I was laying on my bed this past weekend just dicking around in GTAV and I thought, ‘This is stupid.’ True, my friend, Gary, implanted the thought in my head, but it didn’t really germinate until then and blossomed into a complete string of thoughts: ‘Why do you worry so much about your health when you’re mostly healthy? This is stupid.’ followed by, ‘I don’t know anyone else that obsesses over bodily feelings like me. This is stupid.’ Succeeded by, ‘You terrorize yourself. That’s stupid.’ True, I’ve been anxious since that day, but nowhere to where I had been drifting.

Maybe not speaking to Glornax-7 could be a…good thing, for now. Obviously I miss her and want to fix things, but right now I need to learn to stop leaning on friends and family to keep me stable. That could be what’s been harming me all this time: I ceased trusting and believing a lot in myself. Maybe I can start being a better person to myself with this time in the wilderness. I’m not sure, but I’m willing to try.

Oh, and FIDo went green. You know…for the environment. Pardon my squint, the sun does that to me horribly.

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