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Gotta Get Free

February 17, 2015

On the day before I get my new phone fix I spent time contemplating my place in the world and what technology is doing to me. I’ve found that I don’t read nearly as many books as I used to and unless I achieve a certain level of activity I start to feel mopey or bored. I’d say it’s ‘adult onset ADD’ but it’s not. Just the technology fucking with my head. Or to paraphrase Marcellus Wallace, ‘That’s just technology fuckin’ with ya.’

Don’t mistake this for some sort of anti-technology/web rant—it’s not. I’m just saying that right now my brain has an unhealthy relationship with the technology around me and it’s making me miserable..ish. Maybe miserable is too harsh of a word. It’s making my drive to do anything else…really distracted. I want to write that novella and it’s barely gotten any bones to it. And the driving? Also been crushed, but due to the weather and my mood’s reaction to the weather.

So, I’m going to work on regaining some of my focus and my drive. I’m going to take 30 minutes a day at first and just ignore everything technology based. I’m going to just do things with pen and paper or read a book. Slowly but surely I hope to increase my time aaand hopefully form a better relationship to the world around me instead of looking through the window, so to speak. I’m going to try not to let time and my life pass me by by keeping my head down and buried in my phone or my ipad or tv or computer. Yeah, I really have a lot of shit to distract me. It’s making my mind twitchy and without a phone or anything I start fidgeting.

Bleh…life sucks sometimes, but I need to get through this for my own sake and to get past the anxiety. I realized I had an easier time doing it before I had a smartphone.

Edit: oh, and I noticed it’s a lot easier to snack a lot when looking around online. So…there’s that too.

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