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Cigarettes, Advertising, And You

March 9, 2015

This could be a repeat or maybe I said it elsewhere online but: I miss cigarette advertisements. Not because I smoke, mind you, but because I get tired of seeing medication adverts or lawyer adverts on every tv program I happen to watch. Yes, I still watch tv like a savage, not often. But still…I miss them and I miss them because they weren’t so dour. Sure, the product they’re selling you will kill you slowly and you’ll die either of lung cancer, stroke, heart attack, throat cancer, etc. etc. But they were happy. And they weren’t just happy about their product, they were just out enjoying life.

Now whenever you see an advert it’s for some pill that’ll make you happy because heeey…pills. Doesn’t matter that it’ll cause anal leakage, an embolism, diabetes, or tuberculosis, you will be happy while you die! And they’re never actually happy, no, the people in these commercials are doing yoga or dancing or something, because…pills make you do yoga and dance? Or kayaking, because I can’t tell you of the last person that I’ve known that kayaks.

Actually I know of no one that kayaks but I do know someone that dances and does yoga, but only for enjoyment. Not because their new medication leads them to enjoy life in seemingly exhausting ways. On the other end of this spectrum is that damn Lipitor commercial where the guy’s wearing the colors and cheering for them like a sports team. You go Lipitor…lowering..a person’s cholesterol? Not only are these commercials batty–they make no fucking sense.

I’m not against ‘big pharma’ in the sense that I think these medications are useful, but I just think we’re over-medicated as a society and these commercials really just turn doctor’s into legal drug dealers. Then after encouraging me to ask my doctor about a particular drug we’re onto lawyer commercials–oftentimes pushing for lawsuits against the makers of the medication that was just being advertised. I wonder if these people have a sense of humor about it like, “Yeah…tell them to ask their doctors about this drug…then it’s our time to shine!”

I understand you all need to make a living and such and that’s fine…but dial it back for Chrissake.  I don’t think only making 50 billion dollars instead of 51 billion is going to break your piggy bank. You also over-charge for your services, too. So there’s that, too. And you’re slowly turning the medical profession into McDonald’s: overpriced services with very little value, for those of you following at home.

So yeah…bring back the cigarette adverts. They were awesome and at least knew how to enjoy themselves unlike you bunch of dour fuckheads.

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