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Shit Week

March 20, 2015

I’ve been having a pretty terrible week anxiety wise, it started with me getting my tooth shaved down for a crown and then I had to go deal with HIPAA bullshit. And finally…I dunno. The day’s still young. I also have a problem with having panic attacks in front of my psychiatrist. No clue why. Seeing my therapist I’m usually fine, but not so much with her these days. Thing is I actually like psychiatrist, she’s a good audience for my stupid humor. 

I think it has to do with this meeting with Glornax-7 that I asked her to have, since she’s not really replying…’ehh…I pretty much know she won’t show. I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of heartache. But I think I’m gonna go anyway. I think. It’s my final straw with trying to mend things so if she doesn’t show…I guess I get an answer. If she does show…no clue. The thing about anxiety is that oftentimes it’s about things I’m not acknowledging to anyone. I’m suddenly feeling much better about it since realizing that. And no, I came to this conclusion before I typed that out. 

The other issue is being extremely lonely to the point most nights I’ve just been vegging out on comfort tv shows or playing Civilization V mixed in with playing Shovel Knight. What it all comes down to is that I don’t like who I’m becoming and I don’t have a plan for getting out of it. That’s the scariest part of all of this anxiety. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know how to deal with being in a vacuum. 

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