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We’ll Take That Ride

April 1, 2015

I took the first steps to regaining my confidence this week in that I managed to do some driving alone and not spazz out. Granted my therapy session was just me moving back and forth and talking. I’d liken it to being on cocaine, but I have no frame of reference, so I’ll just say it was like I had 3 pots of coffee. I was so nervous, but I did it. Aaaand I feel a bit more confident. I’m not completely useless to myself and I need to learn to be a better friend to me.

And I’m learning, slowly but surely, and I’m taking chances and making new friends who’ll hopefully build a nice foundation for when I come out of my shell. Yes, insert TMNT rock references here. I’m also attempting to write this novel I had in my head and planning to restart my Also-Rans web comic. I just need to keep going with the momentum instead of going, “Ooh shiny!” When it comes to video games and movies. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in that bullshit, but in the end all it does is keep you just above bored but never above it. And sometimes just below the bored line.

I need to change that and I need to keep up some momentum and since I have no therapy appointments the rest of the week I’m just gonna start driving alone or start to. I need more momentum! More! More! As the kiddos say on the swing sets. But for once this territory isn’t scaring me away from it and I’m not going to be deterred from living my life now. I think the anxiety is just at acceptable levels to where I feel okay with me and with being me, for once. And if you’ve known me for years, you’d know how big of a step that is to climb. I…don’t hate me.

Well, I don’t exceptionally loathe me anymore, at at any rate, Some good things are really starting to take shape for me and I’m starting to have inklings of a plan for myself and not so focused on me, but focused on what I want to do, where I want to go. This all seems really preachy and vague and I apologize. I’m keeping things vague for one because I really don’t know what it is and two, it’s not a strictly coherent thought at this point. I’ll have more on that later, but allow me to show you my Also-Rans comic.

See, my professor asked us to turn a Solo/Dixie cup into something interesting and I turned it into a storyboard with no oomph ending. Just silliness. I credit my friend, Lee, for the way the anthropomorphic cups turned out because I was going to do a more detailed and stylized cup. Soo…enjoy.

I made it as a statement on the fear that the media loves to build about viruses and certain diseases and then weeks later never mentions them again. Ebola?  When was the last time you heard about ebola? I’m guessing two weeks ago. It certainly didn’t turn out to be the mega-plague that the news media wanted. Also: special thanks to my friend, Gary, for the panel design idea.


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