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Arrrghgasm: Twitter

May 16, 2015

If you’ve been keeping up with this web log you knew this day was coming.

So, by now we’ve all heard about twitter, we know what it does, what it’s capable of, and there’ve been numerous things written about it both positive and negative. Here’s my take: You’ll never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy.

End of rant, ladies and gents.

Okay, not really. See, Twitter and tweeting are not my thing and they’ll likely never be my thing. When Twitter first arrived on the scene I thought, “Oh great. a place to share when I have a bowel movement,” as the years have passed my impression of the product has only gone downhill from there. It’s become the perpetual outrage machine coupled with the fact that real people get hurt by using this asinine bit of ‘social’ media. And if this is considered a form of being ‘social’ then count me out. True, they do and have said stupid things that deserve scorn, but is it really worth costing someone their job? Their reputation?

No! It’s become so bad that there’s the term ‘cyber-lynching’ because of these forms of social media. And like the right wing mockery in the 80’s and 90’s: if you don’t want to see that something then don’t look at it! I know I certainly don’t enjoy being outraged. Perfect example: this entry almost got eaten and I got pissed off. I hate that shit. But that’s my own personal pet peeve, I’m averse to getting long bits of text I’ve written being eaten through no fault of my own.

I, however, do not spend every waking second finding something that pisses me off–despite my arrrghasms. I do find stuff that highly annoys me and this one especially gets under my skin. Not so much because I’m a luddite and refuse to use that bullshit, but because of its ubiquitous nature. See, the real insidiousness of a service like Twitter is that it allows reporters to go to cheap responses without…you know, doing work. They use this service as a source for news so I’ve been actively preaching to everyone that if a news item involves Twitter anywhere within it that they should stop reading.

Why? Because it’s lazy reporting and and chances are if they’re shoddy enough to delve into that festering boil of the internet, then anything they’re reporting cannot thus be newsworthy because, as mightily informed as SparkyJimBob2838 is on the state of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, I’m not sure he’s going to give proper analysis beyond, “dem Joos just raided dem terusts! go Israyl!” Or any such topics of serious consequence.

George Carlin used to have a bit about the news and how it only offers a bite, not even enough. That’s pretty much how I feel about the news media and Twitter intermingling. Instead of just a bite, though, they give you a crumb and say, “Enjoy your fucking meal. And don’t forget to be outraged!” People are starving intellectually because of this shit and I actively try to avoid it where possible. And yes, facebook is getting to be just as horrible as Twitter. I barely give real updates except on the weight loss because of some of the stunning pieces of idiocy I see on there every day.

I’m also really not sure how to fix this problem beyond, “Burn this fucker down!” Only burning in this case would involve just disconnecting from that piece of poison. At its best it allows celebrities to connect to their fans and at its worst it just makes people perpetually mean-spirited and always outraged. Which is usually taken out on their favorite celebrities.

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