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New Yawkers

June 8, 2015

Full disclosure: I’ve never been to NYC, I’ve passed through New York on my way to Canada, but that’s the extent of my New York experience. With that said…I’ve had some very bad experiences with New York drivers and some weird ones. The bad ones are usually to the extent of not knowing what a turn signal is used for, slow driving, and just general weaving all over the road like they’re drunk. My weirdest, experience, however is the most fucked up thing I’d ever seen while driving. See, I used to work for my college’s newspaper and we had a deadline to meet and I went down on a Saturday. While I was on I-95 I saw two vehicles from New York, both were SUV’s and they were driving a little slower than I’d like, but I wanted to get to the Harbor Tunnel and…I couldn’t. Mostly because of these two yahoos taking up space and the third lane’s driver was going about their speed.

Well, apparently these two knew each other because I saw them roll their windows down and have a conversation between their vehicles. It was the one moment in my life where I actually, seriously questioned my sanity or whether I was high and hallucinating this. Did two SUV’s have a conversation between them while they were on the road? On 95? Guess I didn’t imagine that. I wish I had. But yeah, Marylanders get shit for not knowing how to drive, but goddamn…that was just stupid. Okay, maybe they knew each other or were headed in the same direction, but c’mon…this is the era where you no longer have to do that as you’ve got a fucking phone. Most people have a phone and this was in 2008. Even the homeless have a cell phone plan. Okay, maybe that was a bit of hyperbole. Anywhoo…I managed to make a 318 word entry out of a 5 minute piece of my life. Woohoo.

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