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Not A Joiner

July 7, 2015

I have an aversion to joining groups. And it’s because people that join groups usually join them with the best of intentions and then more like-minded people join. And more. Pretty soon you have every Tom, Dick, and Harry joined and now they all carry with them their own views and feelings. So your group mutates to fit the dominant feeling of whomever agrees with the majority. And then your group becomes radicalized by people that take an extreme view of whatever you like and pretty soon you have to start distancing yourself from the radicals because, ‘They’re not true Batman fans!’ But it doesn’t work because they obviously feel they are.

I’ve seen some members of their group say, ‘We’re like religions that have extremist elements,’ but I feel if you have to compare your group to a religion that you’ve failed somewhere along the way. Because a group shouldn’t necessarily be like a religion because your causes are usually entirely secular and devoid of religious connotations. Ditto to having to use ‘No True Scotsman’ fallacies. Ideally you don’t radicalize and don’t get to the point where you become like a religion. 

Then a few sex scandals or money laundering scandals later your group’s brand is irreparably damaged. I’ve had trouble explaining why I’m not a feminist but I also don’t support MRA’s, either. I find both groups rather distasteful. But I support their overarching causes. I just don’t want to join the group, because then purity tests come into being, ‘What do you mean you don’t support this cause?! You are supposed to be a part of ______!’ And so on. Groups are bullshit and meaningless. Yeah, they start off with noble causes, but with each successive generation they get a little nuttier and their radicals get a lot dumber. So I don’t join groups. I join causes. I have no problem with joining a cause I find is noble and just. Yes, I just sounded like a superhero here.

Each group also falls into various cliques and those cliques have cliques and their cliques have cliques and…really, I graduated high school. I have no intention of reliving it but without a principal to tell these fuckers to settle down. If my views line up with a particular group, please, it’s only incidental. I would have felt that way regardless.  I feel groups create a hive mind which is more destructive than good and once you join, your causes are no longer your own and you’ll be pressured to act in a way that is not in line with who you are before you joined. 

And I’d really like to keep who I am intact without the added stress of worrying if my views line up totally with your because that’d be super awesome and we’d totally agree forever and ever and yay! I have no problem with people that choose to join these groups, but leave me out and don’t try to go all cult on me and tell me I, ‘Want to live in the dark ages,’ because I don’t want to join your super-happy fun time group. I’m an Atheist for a reason and realize my feelings won’t completely line up with everyone else’s at all times, either. I don’t even agree with Atheists at all times and I’ve gotten shit for that, too. But it’s the closest approximation to what I am. So I’ll have to deal with that one on my own. 

Anywhoo…sorry for the rant, please respect my views and I’ll respect yours. ‘Til later.

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