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Emotional Vampires

August 10, 2015

Oh, they’re real alright. And they’re not the sparklesheen ones that play baseball in the woods, or fuck, the murderous sort from the past. No, these vampires like feeding on your mood. They don’t do it consciously, but they do it no less. My days have been fantastic lately and here comes this black cloud of a ‘friend’ telling me about all of their problems and why their life sucks and how it’s the suckiest suckfest that ever sucked a suck. And how they’re stupid. Seriously, that’s what 95% of our conversations were about: how much their life sucked and how it’ll never get any better and they’re so fucking stupid and blah blah blah.

Look, I’m fine if you’re depressed. I have several depressed friends and they’re fine. I can listen to them and try to help to varying degrees of success. That’s great. But it’s not all of who they are. We do have conversations that don’t involve how shitty their world is. For instance: a woman I used to be so attracted to is depressed and we talk and I try to get her out of her depressive modes–it doesn’t always work, but I try. However, between those episodes we do have conversations about tv shows, books, what she likes, what she’s doing, etc. I also give a lot more leeway to people I’ve known a long time than people I’ve just started talking to for three fucking weeks.

But oh ho! Not the vampire. The vampire tells me about life being shit, she’s shit, she’s stupid. Every. Day. And I’ve only known this woman for a few weeks at best. That…that really doesn’t leave a good taste in my mouth. I knew things were becoming a problem, though, when I lost my libido. Really, I just…wasn’t feeling it. Oh, I watched porn. Read some erotic stories, etc. Nothing was happening. I could only conclude that it’s because I was busy putting out fires with this bint that killed it. I’ve also felt slightly more on edge, slightly hungrier, etc. This sounds silly to be blaming one person for all of this, but they texted me hour by hour, day by day, and I had to deal with it in every conversation. Your relationships with people whether they’re family, friend, co-worker, spouse, significant other, etc. do affect you on an emotional level.

So it’s not all bullshit. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t need someone like that being an anchor to my good mood. I don’t need someone that can’t get over how crap their life is and does nothing to solve it. If you’re depressed or have anxiety: I totally get that. I’m still in that area. In fact, this person had depression and anxiety too. Trouble is, she wanted to make that my problem as well. And it’s not. I’m sorry if that sounds insensitive, but it’s not. I will talk you through it, I will give you advice, I will completely support you in whatever way I can, but don’t try to make it my problem or act like every little bit of misfortune is THE END OF THE WOOOOOORLD!

That shit would wear even Superman’s patience out. And I’m not Superman. I’m just someone trying to put their life back in order and do not need a bombardment of negativity every second of every day. Bad days, we all get those. I get those. Depression? Again: I get that too and try to help. It’s the nurturer in me. But constant negativity? That goes beyond depression and just straight up is a flaw in your programming that you need to work out. And if you think I’m being overly harsh: there’s a difference between actually being depressed and just being a negative person. She was the latter more than the former. And she even said so.

I’m trying to build positive relationships with people and dealing with her felt like a big step backward and it was wearing me down and wigging me out. So good riddance.

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