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I Hate People

September 30, 2015

Is probably something you’ll never hear me say, not ever. I do have plenty of friends and my brother, they’ll say it and often to the point it’s like a religious prayer, “I hate people,” and then they’re good to go for the day. Me, I can’t hate people no matter how much they disappoint me–don’t get me wrong, there are days where it’s really trying, I just remind myself that they’re as flawed as everyone else–including myself. So judging them for their failings would be as crappy as judging me for my own–which has happened.

I’m not saying that there aren’t people that are worthy of scorn–there are, but I think the general loathing of people isn’t really helping things. It’s creating apathy towards real suffering that goes on behind the scenes. We’ll never know everyone’s story so we judge them on first impressions, whether they like the same things we like, their political beliefs, their religion, their sexuality, etc. Me, I try to keep these things in mind with everyone, maybe that barkeep at that bull roast was just having a bad day or messing with me, or someone’s short temper was just them having a bad day. Maybe they made a mistake because they’ve got anxiety or someone died in their family; or any number of reasons. We don’t know and possibly never will. I just try to remind myself that their story is not my own and try not to judge them for it.

It is just easier to keep this caricature of your average person in mind: stupid and will do their damnedest to remain stupid so not worth your time. And worthy of scorn for being so damn dumb [insert traits for justification]. I’m trying to get out of that mentality because I did have it for so many years. I wasn’t anti-people, but I saw them all as one stupid mass waiting to do something stupid that will stupid up the rest of us so why fucking bother? Then the anxiety hit.

I know it seems like I relate everything back to my anxiety and maybe I do, but it was a big ground shift in my life that changed my perspective on things and appreciation for life, even if I currently feel like as if I’m not living my own. It has created a greater amount of empathy for people and their flaws. Why? Because I’d hope for the same thing when I’m going through my anxiety fits. Some compassion and understanding goes a long way toward making things better for everyone else. Little pebbles causing ripples and all.

There’s also a line from Good Omens that I always go back to and it’s when Crowley is pondering humanity and the actions of humanity:

He rather liked people. It was a major failing in a demon.
Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into the design, somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse.

And that right there is why I will never utter the phrase, “I hate people,” because while I can’t really change things for everyone, I can at least try to make life a little better for the people around me by not treating them like they’re scum of the Earth or sneering at them when they fuck up. I just try to let it slide. Now, if you can’t drive properly and always end up getting into near accidents…yeah, fuck you. I don’t like you one bit because you’re endangering my life, yours, and everyone you come into contact with. Remember: small pebble; big ripples on the pond.

However, if I do meet you on the street or at a doctor’s office or anywhere else–I’ll at least be understanding that we both come from different worlds and to treat you politely. Nope. I haven’t given up on humanity yet.

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