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Misunderstandily Misunderstanding

October 8, 2015

On Saturday night I received a…prank, asshole…phone call. He said my name so…I thought it was for me and then he launched in, “I’m gonna fuck your wife,” which is great for me because I lack a wife to fuck, but post-asshole phone call I was starting to think he said, “I’m gonna fuck your life,” which kind of had me startled. So startled, in fact, I emailed H-bomb to see if she knew of anyone who would do that. To my amazement and the universe’s…she responsed with a no. My issue now isn’t with the phone call but so much as how she saw it and how things can be misunderstood.

I worry she’s going to think, “Same old FIDo, blaming me for any wrong in his life,” but she’s honestly the only person who’s even somewhat holding a grudge against me right now. So naturally I would ink it’d involve her somehow, even on the periphery. Maybe she didn’t order it or have anything to do with whatever anyone she knew and they did it independently. And I don’t blame everything bad in my life on her and curse her name and shake my fist at the sky. She’s really low on my list of blame. I can clame her for how I feel sometimes, melancholy, the constant craving of intimacy, those I can blame on her.

This…I was just curious about and another misunderstanding this week between a friend and myself got me inking about how the littlest event can cascade into just ruining the mood or seeming insulting. I know this incident probably wasn’t that important to her, but I could feel a mood shift.  Which sucks because she took it entirely not in the direction I meant it, eventually she got how I meant it but by then the damage seemed to be done. So, that sucked. It’s weird how one little slip up or one turn of phrase can seem to ruin a very good vibe at that moment. I wish things weren’t like that and if H-bomb is reading this, I really hope you’re not holding this against me either and can see where it’s coming from. As for my other friend, I’d apologize, but I already apologized and repeated apologies tend to be a bit much. In either case: sorry. I’ll blame fatigue and alcohol and poor setup.

Anyway, I had this whole thing written out in my head and this feels very half-baked. So, if this entry is gone later…you’ll know why. But for now it stays.

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