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October 8, 2015

If there’s one act in the human experience that feels very futile to me besides shaving and laundry it’s showering. Not that I don’t enjoy being clean or anything, but it just strikes me as a very Sisyphean  activity to keep doing day after day and when you’re a fat fuck like me, showering every day is very mandatory. I don’t sweat buckets, but I do sweat in the usual spots a lot more than the rest of me and it just seems like, “I’m showering to get dirty again.” At least with laundry or shaving you can at least let those go for a bit. You can change your clothes or wear the same ones multiple times and you can grow a beard. But showering? Well, unless you enjoy stinking then you must do it.

And sometimes if you’ve actually got formal gatherings you need to do it multiple times so your skin starts to feel like it’s been caressed by the Sahara. True, some can go a long bit before needing a shower but it’s like your freshness seal can break so easily. Take a shower on a humid day and you need another shower already. It seems like the only time when your freshness stays a bit is in cold weather. That or no one really notices. It’s just…madness. And yet we do it every morning or night. Wake up, shower, get dressed, and again the next day or the day after. Maybe I’d have a different perspective on it if I were thin.

But right now it just seems like wasted effort day after day just to keep clean. Thanks humanity, you truly do come up with the greatest inventions. Ah well, despite my bemoaning the shower, I’ll still clean up because if there’s one thing  I hate more than showers, shaving, and laundry, it’s bad odor and feeling dirty. Well…feeling dirty in a non-sexual way.

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