Skip to content

So Damn Dumb

October 13, 2015

I went to therapy today and we dissected this recurrent thought I’d been having lately and he compared it to an earworm…which actually makes a lot of sense. He also doesn’t think I have OCD because there are various symptoms I don’t display and that anxiety can cause OCD-ish behaviors. The intrusive thoughts are fairly common to everyone. So that was reassuring. He said he’d be more concerned if I actually believed that this thought could actually come true. I do not. It’s a logic puzzle to me but he pointed it out fairly well: this is scary, therefore anxiety.

I told him that I really don’t like this thought for various reasons, but chief among them is that it’s dumb. Say what you will about being afraid of heart attacks or having cancer or stroking out–those things can happen and are likely to happen later in life? But a gamma ray burst? That’s fucking stupid. There’s not even a word for how stupid that is, you’ll just have to content yourself that it is stupid bordering on Cleetus The Slack-Jawed Yokel stupid.

That’s what bugs me so much about it. It’s not that I’m getting anxious over it it’s that it’s just dumb. It is. I know it. You know it. Dogs know it. But for some reason it persists…kind of. It is getting a bit better than last night and continues to get better, hence the earworm quality. My therapist said that it seems like my mind is getting over the health anxiety and it just latched onto something else to be anxious about just because it needs it. I…would agree with that.

Stupid brain. But at least I’m working through it and figuring it out. Best comment on this came from my friend, “It’s like you have global hypochondria.” Haha…anyway, working through it and feeling better and I’m going to enjoy the day and not be anxious about this bit of stupidity.

Advertisements
3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 13, 2015 11:39 am

    “The intrusive thoughts are fairly common to everyone. So that was reassuring. He said he’d be more concerned if I actually believed that this thought could actually come true. I do not. It’s a logic puzzle to me but he pointed it out fairly well: this is scary, therefore anxiety.”

    I very much want to speak to this person.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: