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Weighty Losty If You Know The Entry Number, Shout It

November 9, 2015

I currently (as of this morning) weigh 322.2. I’m not mad about this, but I do get concerned. Mostly because I associate not really working for weight loss as some sign of illness. Yeah, that doesn’t make much sense to me either. But there you are. I specifically ate as much foods as possible last night and still came in under my allotted calories. Soo…I fail at failing. I’ll just accept the ounce game. See, the reason for my concern was that on Saturday I weighed 322.6 woohoo! And I ate fairly terribly all of Saturday, but I didn’t snack that much. I just ate pizza and some homemade cookies. My brother was over and I know that when we’re hanging out that my eating’s going to be hmm…not…good? I prepared myself for the inevitable 324.8 or so the next day. So yesterday I weighed myself and I weighed 322.4.

Okay, I thought, two more ounces and then today I went down to 322.2 despite my best efforts to eat a lot. Fuck. What the hell?! I didn’t even pay attention to Myfitnesspal hardly at all yesterday. On a lark I updated the bits I missed on there yesterday and sure enough, I came in 430 calories under my goal. I guess this is a good sign. I mean, my friend assured me that any sign of serious illness would mean more dramatic weight loss. But thanks to my anxiety I can’t even take pride in my body’s ability to lose weight despite my best efforts. Instead I think it’s some sort of illness.

Thanks Anxiety, you’ve fucked me again. On a brighter note, I am feeling slimmer and I may even be able to wear pants this winter without feeling like I’m being squeezed by a vice that likes to pump in heat. My wardrobe is expanding! And for once it’s not because of gaining weight! I will start updating more. I need to do another entry in ‘Your blog sucks’. Also, class has taken an unfortunate turn. But all hope is not lost…yet.

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