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I Caught The George Lucas

December 8, 2015

Can we just skip to the next generation of video gaming now? I think it’s pretty clear that unless you’re an indie developer on a shoestring budget that your game will fall into the miasma of trying to hook us on our nostalgia or making sequels…which also trade on nostalgia. I don’t mind it too much, but original properties are becoming scarce. It’s like video gaming has lost its imagination. Even indie games aren’t immune to this, but at least when they try to hook me with nostalgia that they actually just use old gameplay mechanics to tell an original story.

Not so with the bigger developers. Another Call of Duty: Black Ops: Modern Warfare 6.9: Because Fuck You, who asked for that? You’re just churning out fucking Madden games but with guns and shinier graphics. There’s really no evolution to this series anymore–unless you count how much less of game it can become. The latest travesty is obviously Final Fantasy VII. My friends know that I have no love whatsoever for the interactive novel approach that JRPG’s love to use, but with the older Final Fantasy games? Fucking fantastic.

Who asked them to turn it into a hack and slash type game? Are you kidding me? That…that’s not Final Fantasy. No, that’s a game company’s lame attempt to appeal to western audiences by changing it up. You could’ve easily have just gotten rid of the dialogue boxes, made everything voiced, and updated the graphic engine. No, instead you have this ‘update’ that just looks like utter shit to me. Don’t get me wrong: it is a very pretty piece of shit. If they gave out records for turds, this clearly would win top prize, but it lost its charm. It lost its character.

You went and pulled a George Lucas, Square-Enix. You took a beloved piece of video game history and you went and drew cocks all over it, spray painted them in, and called it a ‘remake’. No, this is a ‘make’ you took the original story and fucked up what made it a memorable thing and just turned it into another one of your flashy, overly stylized piece of shit Final Fantasy games. Stop. Just…stop.

The industry as a whole has turned into Hollywood and by that I mean they could give a shit about the end product, just as long as they sell their games because they know we’ll eat that shit up and ask for more. I’d say I’m disappointed, but I’m not. This is the culture we live in where we show what we value in gaming by buying another Madden update or another Call of Duty. It’s stopped even being funny at this point, now it’s just sad. I feel like I’m in The People Vs. Larry Flynt where Larry’s chiding his coterie,  “Eight million people buy it and no one reads. Gentlemen, Playboy is mocking you.”

And this is, in essence, about how I feel about this generation of video gaming. We were told that with these amaaaazing graphical upgrades that our games would be better…but they’re not. Not at all. In fact, I’ve never been so bored. As much as I like Fallout 4, that alone isn’t enough to justify the joygasm everyone had at the beginning of this generation. This rant also goes against PC games as well, god, I’ve never wanted to harm myself so much while playing games. Why? Because it’d be more entertaining than what I have been given!

Don’t mistake this pessimism for me not liking some titles, but they’ve largely been sequels or updates. My favorite update has been GTAV, but even that is so-called ‘last gen’ so it can’t even be called a ‘next gen’ title. It’s all just been so boring on every gaming front. I like The Witcher III but it’s still a sequel. Dragon Age: Inquisition, too. The Dark Souls II: Prepare To Motherfucking Die For Real This Motherfucking Time Edition, great, but meh…update. So far everything has let me down to one extent or another–even Fallout 4 a little bit.

I’m just so sick of sequels and remakes. It just reeks of the point I saw awhile ago from…Marcus Beer, I think, wherein he said that heads of video game companies are not game-makers, but come from entirely different industries that see their games as a product–not a form of entertainment. And that right there is the problem: when you see your end result as a product instead of a work of art, you begin to see it as replaceable and interchangeable. You see this mostly with your yearly titles like CoD, Assassin’s Creed, and Madden. They’re prime indicators of how little these people respect their audience.

I think I was last excited for Assassin’s Creed III, but with the season pass and everything and the extra story content just being annoying as shit…yeah, I soon gave up on that game. I don’t even own it anymore and I’ve stuck to my guns on that title. I will never buy another AC title again because it’s all bullshit. The storyline has ceased to make any sense within the narrative and I get the sense that the makers have realized it by how much extra shit they give you. They have no faith in their story so here Mr. Gamer, please take this content as signifying depth within my game and not an easy ploy to distract you from how thin our storyline actually is.

I could rant for hours on this, but yeah…I’m really displeased with this generation of gaming to the point that I can usually take or leave a game. The only ones I’ve been able to stand spending a lot of time on beyond FO4 is Cities: Skylines and Prison Architect. No, not the original titles I claim I want, but they do their job, offer loads of possibilities, and aren’t bogged down in multiplayer online bullshit.

I call it George Lucas, this…disease, mostly because he couldn’t leave well enough alone, either. This goes doubly true for remakes and ‘updates’. Just leave the past in the past. Do we really need to go over Resident Evil‘s original story a hundred times? I don’t care if they updated the voice acting and graphics. It’s wasteful. I get the sense that no matter how much you love the series that a great sequel would be preferable to the bullshit that Capcom has currently squeezed out. And say what you want about that new Devil May Cry game, at least it took a fucking chance. At least it didn’t regurgitate the same goddamn story beat for beat and just added some new bells and whistles.

I like what Nintendo does. And not because they’re not navel gazing as well, but at least with their new games you can expect something different. Something with some imagination to it–even if it can be fucking stupid. Anyway, enough ranting. Am I right? Am I wrong? Do you just not give a shit about this topic? Feel free to let me know by liking or commenting.

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