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The Life And Times Of Birkenstock And Anus

December 19, 2015

A frequent topic I like to cover here is the idea of the self and the idea of knowing who you are. Everything from a person’s personality to whatever they think being real. I use myself as the portal to these musings because…I’m the author. Okay. That was a little less impressive than it was in my head. Anyway, it fascinates to no end how people wrap themselves up in things and stuff to be their identity rather than trying to be themselves. I try to be above this fray because I hate it, but even I do it occasionally. However, I try to limit it to certain subjects like being an Atheist or by being a huge Star Wars nerd.

What brings this topic to the fore tonight is a discussion I was having on my brother’s facebook page about feminism and why I don’t describe myself as a feminist despite being all for equality or that my being Atheist takes up .000000000000000001% of my day. Simply, and I outlined this in an older entry: I’m not a joiner. I don’t join groups, cliques, clubs, societies, or any other nonsense adjectives people use to describe their group. I just don’t. I also said why I don’t: because groups of people will eventually be corrupted by people that join them because there’s 2 types of members that eventually show up

1. the insane and these are people who just gravitate towards groups that sound like them. Do you like eating rolled up dog feces?! FUCK YES! These are my people. They tend to become the extremists of the group and they eventually branch off and make up their own noisy subset of your club. You see this especially in social justice causes like feminism, “You’re not a REAL feminist because you think men deserve equality when they’re sexists–the lot of them. And the white men are fucking racists! RACISTS, I tell you!” They’re also the sort that cause backlashes that you’re currently seeing against feminism.

2. The power hungry, these will be the people that hijack the cause and become the ‘leaders’ and they create the orthodoxy of the group. If there’s a list of what your group fights for and against, then chances are this person is involved in some way. They see the cause as a way to advance their own pet causes. Like your PeTAs which will fight so vehemently to protect animals from cruelty (noble goal) but will also try to foist veganism on everyone whether they want it or not or they’ll destroy vehicles because…reasons. Really, I can never tell these days. Anyway, these are your Hitler-type figures who take noble causes or at least benign causes and turn them into their own special brand of bullshit–like Hitler!

These people will always crop up and they’ll eventually cause a backlash against worthy causes and turn people off. This is despite the average rank and file not really buying into either subset’s propositions. And thus why I don’t join groups. They suck. The people suck. And I’m not gonna join them. So sorry, no feminism for me. Or MRA. That’s another problem I have. Most–and I do mean most–MRA’s are not feminism’s ‘enemy’. In fact, you’re both fighting for the same goal but approaching it in different ways. But you lot are so wrapped up in making your group your identity that you will literally shout past each other and focus on your differences than your similarities and it’s just fucking pathetic.

I watch these people debate and I’m just reminded of an older/younger sibling rivalry. It…does not fill me with joy-joy feelings. But tonight we’re talking about identity. I don’t like how people define themselves by their trivial features and what they like or dislike. I know this is my personal belief, but I don’t think you should identify yourself by your preferences and I think that’s where most conflicts come from. You absorb yourself in your hobbies, your musical tastes, your politics, your religion; your fashion, your cliques, your friends, etc.  that you have no identity of your own. And when someone doesn’t buy into the myriad of things that you’re into then they must be your enemy. Ooohh…that person just said they like Nickelback. How dare they?! I don’t like them and neither should anyone else. BURN THE HERETIC!

In essence no one is themselves. They’re just regurgitated pieces of a person with a large chip on their shoulder about every goddamn thing. I try not to define myself by anything I like or enjoy or believe in. It’s a useless thing to do because there’s always going to be someone you encounter that’s not into that thing and you reject them because you’ve personalized it. So, what’s my solution? Define yourself by your actions. Define yourself by who you are. Are you the guy that helps the old lady cross the street or are you that asshole that borrows fifty bucks and never pays it back? Do you call your mother just to tell her you love her? Or your dad? Or do you silently seethe under society’s pressures and then explode one day?

That’s up for you to decide and not me, but I definitely do know that making the external things in your life be who you are is a fool’s wager. The external stuff is temporary,  you will never be the same person at any one moment in time and consequently you will never like the same things you liked 5 or 10 years ago. Hell, I don’t. I listen to some 90’s rap that I grew up hating. My friend’s slogan used to be that rap is crap without the ‘c’. And I believed it. Now…not so much. But if I did define myself by my preferences then I must dislike everyone who loves that genre of music because to do otherwise would be the ultimate rejection: the rejection of me because my distaste for rap was a part of me.

It’s why I hate identity politics, too. Because you’re either identifying yourself and your politics for things beyond your control or you’re identifying yourself and your politics by temporary emotions. I don’t buy into it and I never will and I refuse to play the game and I think everyone else should refuse it as well, because in the end you’re just doing the bidding of someone with more money and power than you. To put it bluntly: you’re just a tool. Who the hell likes being a tool? Well…in this context?

What do you think? Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I an asshole? Am I secretly a feminist or MRA supporter with delusions of being above the fray? Feel free to let me know.

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