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Shucky Dang Darn

February 22, 2016

I…really haven’t been feeling inspired to write lately. There’s been some seismic shift–especially the last two days, but I…just…can’t write about them. Feels like I’ll jinx things. Also I really despise that it feels like the only time that I can write is when things are going to shit. So. I’ve been having a really great time with someone who shall remain nameless, faceless, colorless, odorless…okay, that’s enough with making them sound like a flammable object. Suffice it to say I really fancy them a lot and they’ve been getting me out of my comfort zone as well and I smile every time I think of them. My whole drive home I grin like an idiot the entire time. Ooh…see? The shroud of them and they!

But she’s made me really happy the last week or so and especially this weekend. It’s been really great and she makes feel like I could conquer the world. Or at least a tiny fiefdom. I’ll write more later. If she doesn’t mind as I found out to my surprise…she reads these. Also my anxiety levels have dropped even further and I’m actually getting past that stupid driving alone hump. Feck, that feels great. And yes, I can thank her for that as well. I say this with no hyperbole: She’s the only woman I’ve met that does not make me feel anxious to be around or feel bad when I’m around her or for wanting to spend time together. And it’s…easy. I don’t feel like there’s a struggle and I haven’t doubted myself the couple times we’ve been together and it leaves me wanting to spend more time with her. I may be a little awkward with some things, but she accepts that and urges me to be more confident in my decisions.

So, the rest of my life may not be perfect right now, but things are getting a hell of a lot better. I really hate that I’m not writing more. I promise more new entries and blah-dee-bloo-dee-blah…you know the spiel.

I also really wish my damn hair would grow back quicker. When I want to dye it it’s like, “non!” but when I don’t it’s like I’m shampooing with Miracle Grow. Hmm…oh yeah. Definitely starting the formations of a story. That was fun. Uhh…I dunno…it’s 2:01am? Beats me. Until later….I am fiiiiine.

Update: I decided to make sure she was okay with this post and she was. Party on. 

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